I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
