Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
