I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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