this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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