we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
they need to just BURY HIM!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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