Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
