What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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