I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
