Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
be right there i have to get my cape
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
