After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
