Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize