im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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