I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
