You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
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if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
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Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
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