Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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