All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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