Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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