yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
