I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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