Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
