would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
