the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Houston, we have a blender
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize