my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
