I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
This baby is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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