the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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