After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I think my moral compass just broke
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
