i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
