I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You pole danced in your parka.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
