can we get nightvision for the apartment?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
