Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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