i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
