remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
