and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
