were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
this will be a night to untag.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
