I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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