I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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