its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize