she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
