dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
