You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I smell like Dick and happiness
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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