omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm bleeding and have questions
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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