Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
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i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
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