I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
