so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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