You made me cry and you don't even care
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
