I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
