I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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