I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
