So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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