Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
