But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
