Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize