please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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