I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
