I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
