there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
