do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
