Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
