Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
