If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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