I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
