Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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