Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I think a kid would responsible me up
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
