Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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