she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
