sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
